Doofapus
by celebi4ever
Summary: Just a little frenemy fic I whipped up while watching the new episode "Doofapus" on Youtube. Please enjoy! Warning: Contains spoilers. ONESHOT.


**A/N- If you haven't seen the episode Doofapus yet, don't read. If you want to see the episode that badly, here's the link. DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU SEE THE EPISODE. Oh, and make sure you watch the "A Platypus Fight" video too (for some reason the video skipped over it).**

** watch?v=EdH8LqncV3g**

**Anyways, this is an extended "Doof and Perry having tea" scene with a few things of my own added. Sorry if the dialogue is somewhat off. **

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb.  
**

* * *

**Perry's POV **

To say we were both tired after a long fight was an understatement. We were _exhausted. _Who knew tic-tac-toe and rock-paper-scissors could really take a lot of energy out of someone?

And it's all because my nemesis thought turning himself into a platypus was the key to defeating me. Where did he get that bright idea from? But I have to give him props for the battle. He actually put up a pretty good fight. He wasn't kidding about us being evenly matched.

"Phew!" Doof panted. "This whole 'evenly matched' thing is exhausting. How about we take a short break?"

Figuring I could just defeat him later, I agreed. Doof hauled out two platypus-sized chairs, and a small matching table. "These were Vanessa's when she was little," he explained. "You stay here, and I'll grab the tea party set." He dashed to his kitchen.

I checked the perimeter of the lab, searching for any signs of a Turn-Everything-Evilinator. I certainly wasn't in the mood for dodging green beams that would make me go over to the dark side. No, if Doof wanted to distract me with a silly little tea party so that he could successfully turn me evil, he would have said it himself. That guy has never been good at keeping secrets.

"I never understood how you never get dizzy when everything is so much bigger than you," Doof said. "Don't you ever wish you were a little taller?"

"_Not really,"_ I chattered. "_I have more important things to worry about." _

"Yeah," Doof dragged the tea set to the table. He had a little trouble lifting the box, so I hopped off my chair to help. "With you being a secret agent and all- HEY! How on earth are you talking?" His blue eyes widened in shock, and he tripped over his own tail and somersaulted several times before crashing into a wall. I placed the box on the table, rolling my eyes at his clumsiness.

"_Well, you are a platypus right?" _I allowed a smirk to cross my bill._ "So duh, of course you can understand what I'm saying!"_

"Don't you 'so duh' me, Perry," Doof growled. "I just forgot it for a while because… I'm-"he snapped his teal fingers as he tried to come up with an excuse. "-dehydrated! Yeah, that's it!"

_"Sure, you tell yourself that," _Out of anger, Doof slapped me on the cheek with his tail. He grinned when I clutched my cheek in pain.

"I guess we really are evenly matched," Doof laughed.

_"You wait till we start fighting again," _I smiled.

Doof poured me some tea, asking, "You ever get tired of lugging this big tail around? I mean, sure, it's great for fighting but it's kind of weird for sitting and stuff. Just figured I'd ask you."

I smirked. "_Hey, I've been a platypus my entire life. But you're kind of right. I can't remember how many times Carl has accidently closed a door on my tail when I was training to be an agent. It isn't pretty."_

Doof nearly spat tea out of his mouth. "Maybe I should try that sometime. Sugar or syrup?"

I pointed to the syrup._ "If you try to trap me by wedging my tail in a door, I am so going to give you the beatdown of a lifetime."_

"Don't you do that every day?" Doof said. He looked at his chest. "I don't know if this is fur or really tiny feathers. I can't tell."

"_It's fur. Since when do mammals have feathers?" _Sometimes I couldn't believe how clueless my nemesis was. But then again, he lacks a normal person's common sense.

Ignoring my last comment, Doof went on, "It's so warm, but it breathes."

I finished the last drops of my tea. _"So are we done with the tea?" _I asked. "_I feel better now." _

"Yeah, me too," Doof agreed. "Back at it, I guess." He leapt across the table, slamming into me. I threw him off and bit his shoulder.

We tumbled around the room, trying to best each other. I kicked Doof under his bill, and he punched me in the leg.

Turns out, we weren't as well rested as we first thought. Doof slouched more than usual, and the bags under his eyes seemed deeper. He threw a punch, but his fist didn't connect. Doof didn't even have to dodge my punch.

When Doof tried to hit me again, he lost his balance and fell right on top of me. His weight made my legs buckle, but I managed to stay on my feet. Dragging him to the couch, I laid Doof on a pillow and curled up next to him. I could definitely use the rest.

It felt weird to be this close to Doof without beating him up. "So, who won?" Doof yawned, blinking sleepily.

"_Nobody. We never finished," _I responded.

"You can defeat me later, right?" Doof's head sank deeper into the pillow. "I just don't feel like fighting now."

"_Yeah, neither do I," _I grabbed the TV remote. "_In the meantime, I heard there's a good soap opera on Channel 8_."

* * *

*Twenty minutes later* **End Perry's POV**

"I can't believe he dumped her! That stupid jerk broke her heart!" Doof sobbed on Perry's shoulder. Perry handed Doof a tissue so he could blow his nose (do platypuses have noses?)

"_Well, she did cheat on him with Evan," _Perry said. He was shaking his fist at the TV. "_She deserves it."_

"Okay, I guess I can see your point a little," Doof sniffled. "But couldn't he break up with her a little more nicely." His face froze. "Oh crud."

"_What? What's the matter?"_

"Just a little problem," Doof grimaced."Correction. I've got a big problem." He tensed up.

"_Spit it out!"_

"How do you do your business... as a platypus?"

"_OWCA, we have a problem."_

* * *

**A/N- This is my first attempt at a Perry/Doof frenemy fic. What do you think?**_  
_

**One last thing: Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-wah, ****Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-wah,**  


**DOOF!  
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**He's a semi-aquatic, former human of evil!  
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**He's often mistaken for a pharmacist, who is foiled every day!**

**Although he sometimes lacks some skill,  
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**He's got a beaver tail and a bill!  
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**And whenever he's thwarted, you can always hear him scream:  
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**"CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"  
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**He's Doof, Doofapus!  
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**Doof: You can call me Supreme Leader of the Entire Tri-State Area!  
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**He's Doof!  
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**Doof: What part of calling me the Supreme Leader of the Entire Tri-State Area do you people not understand?  
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**DOCTOR D!  
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**Doof: Why am I always insulted in fanfiction too?  
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**Please R&R!  
**


End file.
